The readers of this column (3.5 as of last count) might recount that in office, my rear end is usually placed at the corner of a triangle dominated by Xin Li’s in two parts to three. And it is usually very frigid there. Oh, partly because our office maintenance team is trying to cut down on refrigeration costs. And I am going to talk about the other component of frigid-ness now: it started to thaw; today I found out the name of ‘my Xin Li’!!!
It started when our manager walked in today morning and said, “Yo! You three.” (Note that no name has been revealed yet.) I looked up and saw that original Xin Li was typing furiously with his headphones on. (Note to self: need to do that next time.) My Xin Li transitioned from chomping his gum in the face of his monitor to chomping his gum in the face of our manager and then chomping his remaining gum in the general direction of original Xin Li because the rest of the party was looking tither. (I wish I could be that de-stressed all the time.)
The manager waved his hands - his calisthenics for the day I assume - to get original Xin Li’s attention. He did a little salsa, tried to go a bit forward, was checked by his desk, went back a step and flung his arms in air like a tube man, one of those tall balloons that have smiles glued on their faces but do a weird “help me” mime. (I even do this dance better than him!).
Original Xin Li looked up and had a sip from the green tea can. (No coconut water for you. Ha ha.) He took off the headphones following which three of us craned our necks towards the balloon and he resumed, “Well, I think we should have lunch together today. We can discuss -”
The three of us went back to gawking our screens. Soon enough, there was a calendar invite from our manager. So, it is happening. gulp I started my preparations for the lunch.
In the two hours up till the moment, I looked up the menu and looked at the ingredients in each of the items being served, deciding what I can eat without getting anything stuck in my teeth that would make me look like a Grinch. I saw from the corner of eye that my Xin Li googled for small conversation topics. Brilliant idea!
There was something else that was bothering me. It had been too long that I had sat next to my Xin Li without knowing his name. It was definitely long enough to ask him now. But what if I need to ask him to pass a napkin or salt?
Option 1: I can avoid sitting next to him. Seating can always be tricky: I can try to rush and get my plate first and occupy a table. It is not a foolproof method because there is no telling where the rest three will decant themselves.
Option 2: Find out his name! I navigated to company’s yellow pages and went to my manager’s page and there it listed all the people under him. Five of them didn’t have a proper picture unless they looked like a green crab, brown monkey, lavender crab, pink face with a ponytail, and a unicorn.
I packed a napkin in my pocket and read up benefits of less salt intake in food.
The two hours ticked by in trepidation. Then, I saw the manager appear again.
“Alright, let’s do this!” he exclaimed.
I kept staring at my screen with headphones on. I started typing something. A milder version of tubeman dance followed. I looked up avoiding the Xin Lis. Can I get the manager to suggest that we skip the lunch on account of us being busy? More typing. More frenetic dance. Reluctantly, I moved my lower body away from my desk but kept my arms planted on the desk.
“Let’s go!”
I took a step away from the desk but my fingertips continued to type whatever keys were reachable from there. This got to be the last straw.
Loud exhale.
I walked away.
No one mentioned each others’ names while walking towards elevators. In elevator, we just made a generic awkward comment that was followed by ‘mhhmm’ and then everyone stared at the number on the top right panel without breathing. We were still quiet walking to the cafeteria. There, I held the door open and people muttered a thanks: thank goodness, no more expectation to talk till we each grab our plates and heap them with food.
Fast forward: we were all seated at the table and our manager took the onus of most of the conversating. I think he has to keep practicing these talks and I am pretty he talked about his gym in Canada at half of the meetings he went to that day. Then his dog, his apartment. He made us say whether we lived far or near to the office and this led to a discussion about commute. We discussed ramen restaurants - in San Francisco, in larger Bay area, and even in Los Angeles. We did not wander beyond the Mexican boundary.
We discussed market, housing prices … but I will be darned if any of us mentioned anyone’s name. I had a saltless quinoa that was spilling all over my lap.
And then, magic happened. We stopped eating. The boss pushed his chair back and got up. Ducklings followed. We started walking back. Thanks for the door, staring at number screen in the elevator in suspense of will-we-make-it-to-the-floor-alright, and then the tranquil walk back.
It wasn’t too bad, I thought.
As we were about to take to our seats, it happened. My Xin Li was near his desk, I was trailing him, and my boss called out from behind me - “Hey –” he made the gesture towards my Xin Li and was forgetting his name.
I being quite near to him, he glanced at me hoping that I would help him out. I stood there cemented to the floor - all red. What do I do? Say something! Do it now.
“Who? Me?” I said when he was clearly pointing to my Xin Li.
“Xin,” replied my Xin Li.
And that kids, is how I met the other Xin. Yellow pages tell me that he is either the green crab or the unicorn. That is one giant leap for a woman.